This page is dedicated to the greatest action movie hero of all time: Dolph Lundren.

Dolph should run for president because he would be a awesome at it. His versatility is unmatched, he can be a russian boxer, a teacher, a cop who fights aliens, a cop who fights the yakuza, a renegade cop who fights yakuza, a land mine specialist, a stealth fighter pilot, or one of various other military positions.

No matter his role, Dolph provides an award worthy, ass kicking performance.

Here is a list of dolph movies I own.

 

Showdown in Little Tokyo

This is the first dolph movie I bought, and it is amazing. Dolph, steeped in eastern traditions, plays a cop who kicks the crap out of like a billion yakuza. The best scene is where he rescues a girl, throws her over his shoulder and walks through a wall, then lifts a car with one hand, drives off in a convertible and then turns around to shoot the gas tank of the lifted car to cover his escape. The end even has a sweet sword fight with Dolph dressed in his traditional karate outfit (headband included).

 

Sweepers

About half of Sweepers is a flashback of Dolph's son Johnny getting blown to bits by a land mine. Personally I think any kid that flees into a mine field deserves to explode, but Dolph is much too sensitive to agree. If you watch the trailer you can basically watch the entire movie, including how the final bad guy dies. Sweepers is awesome and I recommend it to anybody that liked other classics including Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, Driving Miss Daisy, and Casablanca.

 

The Punisher

Holy crap this movie is sweet. Dolph beats the bajesus out of the yakuza and lives naked in the sewers. My favorite scene is when he pulls a crossbow out of nowhere and shoots a rope dragging bolt through a person and into a van, then Dolph rides down the rope and shoots like 5 more guys with an automatic weapon while sliding. He also kills like 40 guys holding swords in about 3 seconds with a machine gun. The Punisher has the highest kill count of any of the Dolph movies, and it's so realistic you might get traumatized from all of the violence.

 

Detention

The plot of Detention makes so little sense it's amazing. For some reason bad guys want to take control of a school because it somehow goes along with their plan to steal an armored car. Of course, it doesn't really matter why they're doing bad things because Dolph the teacher is going to kick their asses. The students left in the school, instead of just leaving, stick around and help Dolph defend the building. There is a sweet scene at the end where a handicapped student sits on the shoulders of another student, and as the piggy backer gets shot in the chest 4 or 5 times the handicapped kid stabs one of the bad guys in the neck. I highly recommend this movie to anybody who is going into teaching.  

 

I Come in Peace

I don't know why nobody made a movie about an alien that injects heroin into humans and then sucks their brains out to use as a super drug on his homeland before, because this movie rocks. It doesn't matter that the alien has magical cds that automatically decapitate an entire room because Dolph is super sweet. At the end as Dolph kills the alien (who constantly says "I come in peace") he yells "You come in peace, but you leave in PIECES. This movie shows how smart and witty Dolph is, and I think he deserves an oscar.

 

Bridge of Dragons

This movie is sweet because they don't bother following the normal conventions of movie making. Things like the time period and location don't matter, I'm pretty sure it's symbolic of how universal Dolph is. It doesn't matter where you come from, Dolph will kick the crap out of whoever your El Guapo is. See, Dolph is part of an Asian army that speaks english and is fighting with Russian weapons against "rebels" who are mostly white Europeans. They use WW2 weapons, fly modern helicopters, and sometimes ride horses. Definately worth the $6.99 I paid for it on DVD.

 

I also own Cover Up, Peacekeeper, Stormcatcher, and Agent Red...but they suck even by Dolph's standards.